i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
