Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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