Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
