Quick, to the slutcave!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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