yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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