Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
