went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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