some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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