i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
