I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
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as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
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I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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