You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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