She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I enjoy the company of your penis
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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