Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
