I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
