we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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