You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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