She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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