god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
