At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
