If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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