At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize