4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
