Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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