i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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