she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
