Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
sarcasm needs its own font
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
