R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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