Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
