come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize