You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
