I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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