I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
