I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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