Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
