he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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