just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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