Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
