so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
