Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize