everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
