Whod you bang
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
