you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
