I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
