I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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