One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
