Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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