two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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