If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
