So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
