1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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