You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
