you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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