so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
