Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
