i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
