your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
