Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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