guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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