evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
