God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
