I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
