And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
