just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
