if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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