Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
